Do beavers eat fish? Ooh, the gloves are off now. I’ve got some news for you: beavers don’t eat fish. But if they did they’d eat them alive. Like what I’m gonna do with you right now, smart guy.
What’s the best time of day to buy shoes? Ha. You tell me, mister man: have you ever bought shoes except in the afternoon? Well neither have I. Now if you would be so kind as to hand over my shiny, new wedge before the night’s over.
What was the name of Lone Ranger’s horse? You insult me. Every red-blooded American knows the stallion’s name is Silver. Of course his master’s identity remains a mystery. But he always triumphs. Good over evil. Just like me, Kemosabe.
Who did Blondie Boopadoo marry? I gotta tell you. I don’t appreciate the tone of that question. A hard-working guy like Dagwood Bumstead wouldn’t want two grown men talking about his little wife. Put that card all the way in the back. It leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
posted by upfreak at 10:04 AM
Your fascinating brain.
Come to a dogfight, better show up with a doberman.
My brain's a doberman. What's yours?
TAG: Play for keeps.
What does it look like when a brain soils itself?
Can a brain soil itself?
If your brain wore pants, it would have soiled them.
Your brain is so small it could .....
Board game as blood sport.
If there were dogs involved, it would be banned in 36 states
Add dogs and it would be federally banned.
posted by upfreak at 8:08 AM
New copy for Trivial Pursuit Ads
Brian Dunaway & John Randazzo
Trivial Pursuit Ad 1
In the beginning was the Word. English has a million of the little fellas. The “F” word is a very naughty one, with at least 18 meanings. Mostly it means bonking someone. That’s a very English way of saying it. The English are a strange bunch.
In the beginning was the Word.
The Sex Pistols said it on TV in 1976 and got in a lot of trouble.
Trivia takes you to interesting places.
Trivia makes boring things interesting.
It dates back to 1503, and means having a go at it, or bonking someone. The Bible calls it “knowing” someone else. I wonder if Adam knew Eve before he really knew her.
What does this mean? That trivia matters.
Trivia matters.
In the beginning was the Word. English has over 50,000 of them.
In the beginning was the Word. There are over 50,000 words in the English language. English has no real dialects per se but claims 27 distinct accents.
‘The Word’ was actually a biblical name for Jesus. The Bible calls Jesus all sorts of names—75 different names to be exact. Like Author of Our Faith. And Prince of Peace. Of course Jesus wasn’t the prince of any nation. Did you know Britain’s Queen Mary used to kill her lovers? It’s true. Over 30 of them. Dead. And King Henry VIII created the Church of England just because he wanted to divorce Anne Boleyne in 1677. Then he killed her, too and sort of became the English Pope.
Pope Gregory X didn’t like that one bit. Neither did the Irish. Most Irish are Catholics. But most Brits, 75 percent, are Protestants. They both believe in Jesus. Did I already tell you the Old Testament calls Jesus “The Word”?
Trivial Pursuit Ad 2
We, the people of the United States of America, are 290 million strong. We’re the most populated country on the North American Continent. Mexico is a close second, with 276 million.
Canada has only about 90 million people. It’s super cold in Canada, with a mean daily temperature of 43 degrees Fahrenheit. But in Canada they have the metric system. Forty-three degrees F is about 10 degrees Celsius. Canada discarded the English measuring system way back in 1973. But America, the rebel nation, still clings to Imperial weights and measurements. That’s kind of funny.
Funny because America is a rebel nation. America was the first British colony to successfully defeat the crown—in 1779, the battle of Charleston, S.C. No other country has done that since. But all those other countries? They’ve already converted to metrics. Everyone except the 50 United States of America, the U.S. Virgin Islands and Puerto Rico.
posted by upfreak at 6:58 PM
